Warning: This review is full of shit
There are two types of people who will walk out and say positive things
about the film. Those who truly appreciate its art, which I can’t mess with
because they have their reasons, and those who are afraid to tell the truth
because they might get mugged by a swarm of weed-smokers, meta-hipsters,
critical thinkers and ultra-multiverse pretentious fucks. Well, I’m neither of
them and I speak for the people who say that this shit is booooooooring!
The intro is promising. Makes me wanna sing Mr. Roboto. First 15
minutes were good. But when they went to Zambales, the film became a big pile
of nothing. Nothing happened. You won’t learn anything. Some scenes are
visually good but you won’t experience anything new. Oops… there was one. This
is the darkest shit I’ve seen in my life, literally. Films I remember while
seeing this film: Prometheus, Sunshine, Sitio and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the
shitty 3D remake). My rating for this wet lower after I saw Violator. That film’s
characters were all dark, secretive shit but at least there was something in
the end. Great film. See it!
To be fair, I had a conversation with a person who actually liked the
film. He told me that he liked it because the trip was realistic and that the
characters where real people, real shit.
Good ensemble, super clichéd characters. You have the jerk, the comic
relief, the adequate girlfriend and the goody-goody two shoes (which should
have been a virgin). Kean Cipriano (Diwa Madafaka) is like James Franco. He’s
better when he’s high. The erogenous Mara Lopez (Mon) and Dawn Jimenez (Andie) were
just plot devices. I can slightly relate to Ketchup Eusebio’s character but I
can’t see why he still hangs with them. Move on, dude! The side characters are
irritating, especially the weirdo hipster childish dude. Spoilers: One of the
characters went missing and the judge didn’t even tell the gang that the bald
dude is an alien shit! Lastly, how can the alien shit make holograms or morphs
of the two dudes while he’s busy fucking Andie? And not notice Diwa who’s
eavesdropping, and probably jerking-off, later in the film? Shit is ridiculous.
It’s not about seeing, it’s all about sleeping. Hindi Sila Tatanda is a
snoozefest of filter scenes and rehashed elements from horror films mixed with
alien shit.
Tama na yang burgis-burgisan na ‘yan.
ROTTEN
ALIEN EGG SHIT 1/5!
This is the so-called art film that I remember while watching this.
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if you enjoy the review. Thanks for reading! J
